I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
