Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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