hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In other news, I just burned my penis
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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