it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
