who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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