His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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