Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
