You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
