hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think my tv is drunk
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
