My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Boobs speak an international language.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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