It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
