Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
