The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
