his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do vagina's smell?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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