careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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