I think i peed on brittanys purse
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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