Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
