You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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