ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
