eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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