there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
