Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
