After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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