Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
