The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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