haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
