Me. At least after what I've been through.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
