I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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