would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
