I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
