this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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