I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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