She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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