if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
