last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
