If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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