i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
