so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
