There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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