i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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