Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
