Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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