I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
