Sponge bath it is.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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