What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
