I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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