i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
