i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize