I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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