You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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