Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
