sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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