if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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