Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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