He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize