awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I party with great urgency now.
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