Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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