Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
