If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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