just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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