Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
