Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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