sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
