D3 body, D1 cock
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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